GURU

a poetry collection by myself, SumathyRamesh, Sydney, to the tunes of the ragamaligai, aadu mayile nitham aadumayile, a lullaby our aunt Srimathi Jayalakshmi Balasubramanyam sang to as in our formative years in Palani. I have attempted to write the poems as a barathanatyam- mini margam format suitable for a ~15 minute rendition.

குரு

எம் இளவயதில், பழனியில் எம் அத்தை ஸ்ரீமதி ஜெயலட்சுமி பாலசுப்ரமணியம் எம்மை தாலாட்ட பாடிய ஆடு மயிலே நித்தம் ஆடு மயிலே என்ற பாடலின் இசை அமைப்பை ஒட்டி இயற்றிய கவிதை தொகுப்பு; ~15 நிமிடங்களில் ஆடவல்ல மினி மார்க்கமாக அமைக்க முயன்றுள்ளேன்.

CONTEXT

Early in April 2023, myself and my husband visited the Sri Venkateswara Temple at the outskirts of Sydney. There are several shrines and several more beautiful idols installed along the walls of the shrines as integral reliefs. While all of them are dear to me, I have sought respite in the Dhakshinamurthy embellinshing the southern wall of the Chandramuliswarar shrine more than most others in times of adversity over two or three decades. The personification of guru has been very beautifully sculpted in the Dhaksinamurthy idol- the tilt of the chin towards his heart adding a tinge of restraint in his jawline as if to pull his indulgent smile reassuring his confidence in me from turning into a self indulgent smirk telling me I am on my own- the perfect guru. (As I posted in fb on 5 APR 2023), the Temple was preparing for Maha Kumbabishegam, a consecration following significant works, repairs, enhancements, new additions and so on.. not unlike a relaunch of an old classic. As you can imagine the work had been going on for over an year, transparently as devotees continued to use the temple throughout the preparation as we did ourselves. After the deeparadanai of Chandramouleeswarar, Tripurasundari and Subramanyar, myself and my husband pradakshinamed the shrines making our our way to the navagraha, with the intent to stop briefly, as we always did, at the relief housing Dakshinamurthy. Even my husband didn’t know until that day I had this guru-sishya relationship with that idol-nor would he or any one for that matter would have ever imagined my millisecond outpouring to Dakshinamurthy’s reassurance of my capacity to find my feet was even possible.

That day we found the relief was empty.

My heart(the real one) was stunned, sending the clinical one to shudder. I didn't know I loved my Guru so much, I had to loose him before such realisation. I didn't know what to do, or whom to ask, a million thoughts of desperation flooded my being of the things that are mine, that were deliberately taken away from me(because, you can't derive solution design patterns from inadvertent events which are by definition, inadvertent and not by deliberate design). Finding my voice and vision to spot one of the priests, I asked what happened to Dakshinamoorthy. He answered that as part of the work leading upto the Kumbabishegam, they have removed the idol to change the base with granite as they are with the navagraham. Finding my feet to get to my husband who was half way through the pradakshinam of the navagraham, trying to channel whatever my stunned heart rejected, processing it through what changing the base meant and how it would look. Last Saturday while at the temple, we had saw the beautiful granite bases for Dakshinamoorthy and the navagraham, the Dakshinamoorthy, so it seemed to me, has descended from the walls to the ground. I couldn't, ofcourse help teasing him, it was a bad choice, because, previously I looked up to him for inspiration, and now when I see him in his new position, I stand a whole head above him !!!

At the fag end of my career after decades of working hard to establish/deliver solutions with in the scope of the very many roles I fulfilled to eliminate risk of human harm to the best of my ability, its difficult to sit back and watch mediocracy reign supreme in the name of innovation or efficiency; in other words, for some one with my training to look at the root cause of adversity to enable systemic benefit to all users, my need for reassurance from my guru through an indulgent smile every time I sought respite is as real today as it had been before he descended to the ground. I could try doing a namaskaram but I’ll come in the way of others using the praharam….

The mini-margam guru is based on my experience described above.

POETRY

alarippu

ததீம் ததீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம்

ததீம் ததீம் தத்தீம் |

தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம் |

தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம்

meaning in English:

ததீம் - the rhythmic syllable, தத்தீம் broken up as தத் + தீம் தத், in sanskrit meaning "that", and தீம் in english meaning "theame" - for the purposes of abinayam, தத்தீம் to express the msg "that is the theame". GURU being the margam, the alarrippu is teasing the audiance to find the meaning/purpose by drawing on their own understanding and seamless integration of multiple perspectives, manifest in multiple languages, each deriving from its own unique and distinct culture in to a coherent experience. The dancer can tease the audience by drawing them into expressing the meaning that is the theame at any prayogam of தத்தீம், and rendering just a rythmic expression of தத்தீம் - not unlike, how Dakshinamoorthy, or any personal deity from any religion for that matter, draws you in and flips you , for you to realise, you have to pay more attention, work hard to learn to pick up the cues of the gestures, learn the artistes bani, to align yourself in unison with with every prayogam of தத்தீம் for complete enjoyment.

jathiswaram

refer to the music score section for skeleton tunes that should be sing in the appropriate swarams.

meaning in English:

no sathithyam/lyrics given this mini margam is written to portray a one act experience with ample room in the other elements to communicate.

shabtham

ஓயாது கணை தொடுத்து களைத்தேன் ஐயா

ஓயாது கணை தொடுத்து களைத்தேன் ஐயா எந்தன்

வாயார கணை தொடுப்போர் எங்குள்ளரோ

தாயாய் கணை தொடுத்து துவண்ட தோட்களை

சேயாய் எண்ணி துவள்வோர் எங்குள்ளரோ

meaning in English:

my Iyane, I am so tired after responding to the incessant attacks with lines from my poetry as my arrows to defend my intent! Are there anyone anywhere who can pick up their lot to defend my intent to give my mouth the well earned/much needed respite? I picked up my lot to defend what’s left as good amongst us humans as a mother would spontaneously dropping everything to protect her children. Is there anyone whose shoulders would stoop on seeing whats done unto me as they would upon seeing their children hurt?

varnam

ஆனை முகத்தானே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர் தளிர்

ஓலை நுதலோனே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர்

வீணை மொழியணங்கே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர் தேவ

சேனையின் பதியே வள்ளியுடன் காத்திடுவீர்

வள்ளியுடன் காத்திடுவீர்

வள்ளியுடன் காத்திடுவீர்

meaning in English:

(invocation to the main deities in the shiva shrine of the sri venkateswara temple, seeking respite for us humans) Ganesa, the first amongst the wise with the brain the size of that of an elephant and size of breath its trunk could hold to fill your lungs to power you, protect us humans as we seek respite in you. Chandra mouleeswra, the freshest and foremost amongst the intelligent/wise with your forehead spanning the cosmos like the thinnest blade of a fresh shoot of a coconut leaf, with ample potential to cut newer the frontiers, protect us humans as we seek respite in you. Thripurasundari, the most beautiful amongst those with a voice that brings all the cognitive inputs into a coherent whole- every fret in tune with every other note with no room for discord or untruth like the play of well composed songs on a well built, well tuned veenai, protect us humans, as we seek respite in you. Subramanya, the very spark that lit our lives and that of all others, protect us, with Devasenai, the embodiment of all that is devine by way of protecting us and Valli, the embodiment of the simplest expression of love and femininity, protect us humans as we seek respite in you.

padam

எங்கும் உன்னை கண்டிலனே என் ஐயனே

எங்கும் உன்னை கண்டிலேனே

யாருனை பெயர்த்தனரோ சொல்வீர்

யாருனை பெயர்த்தனரோ சொல்வீர்

யாரிடம் கேட்டிடுவேன் என் ஐயனே

யாரிடம் கேட்டிடுவேன்

meaning in English:

I can not find you, my Iyane!, in spite of my arduous pursuit! who debased you?? Please tell me , who debased you?? I don’t even know whom to start asking to begin my search for you!! Oh! Whom can I ak???

thillana

தேடி இன்று துவண்ட நெஞ்சம் உன்னை

தேடி இன்று துவண்ட நெஞ்சம் இனி

கோடி இன்பம் கொண்டுவக்கும் என் ஐயனே

meaning in English:

My heart, that was rendered limp after my arduous pursuit to find you back upon loosing you, is rejoicing in a hundred million ways having found you now.

mangalam

எப்போதும் உன்னடியின்கீழ் நின்றேன் ஐயனே என்னை

எடுத்து நிறுத்தியதுன் புன்முறுவலே

இப்போதென் கண்ணடியில் நின்றீர் ஐயனே நான்

இடுக்கண் வரின் இனி என் செய்திடுவேன்

meaning in English:

I always stood at your feet looking up at your smile that assured me of your confidence in me which in turn enabled me to find me feet-everytime. Now that you have been reconsecrated on the ground, below my eye-level whose feet can I stand below and look-up to to pull me out of grief? (a playful chiding, knowing in my heart he came down to protect me)