GURU

a poetry collection by myself, SumathyRamesh, Sydney, to the tunes of the ragamaligai, aadu mayile nitham aadumayile, a lullaby our aunt Srimathi Jayalakshmi Balasubramanyam sang to as in our formative years in Palani. I have attempted to write the poems as a barathanatyam- mini margam format suitable for a ~15 minute rendition.

குரு

எம் இளவயதில், பழனியில் எம் அத்தை ஸ்ரீமதி ஜெயலட்சுமி பாலசுப்ரமணியம் எம்மை தாலாட்ட பாடிய ஆடு மயிலே நித்தம் ஆடு மயிலே என்ற பாடலின் இசை அமைப்பை ஒட்டி இயற்றிய கவிதை தொகுப்பு; ~15 நிமிடங்களில் ஆடவல்ல மினி மார்க்கமாக அமைக்க முயன்றுள்ளேன்.

CONTEXT

Early in April 2023, myself and my husband visited the Sri Venkateswara Temple at the outskirts of Sydney. There are several shrines and several more beautiful idols installed along the walls of the shrines as integral reliefs. While all of them are dear to me, I have sought respite in the Dhakshinamurthy embellinshing the southern wall of the Chandramuliswarar shrine more than most others in times of adversity over two or three decades. The personification of guru has been very beautifully sculpted in the Dhaksinamurthy idol- the tilt of the chin towards his heart adding a tinge of restraint in his jawline as if to pull his indulgent smile reassuring his confidence in me from turning into a self indulgent smirk telling me I am on my own- the perfect guru. (As I posted in fb on 5 APR 2023), the Temple was preparing for Maha Kumbabishegam, a consecration following significant works, repairs, enhancements, new additions and so on.. not unlike a relaunch of an old classic. As you can imagine the work had been going on for over an year, transparently as devotees continued to use the temple throughout the preparation as we did ourselves. After the deeparadanai of Chandramouleeswarar, Tripurasundari and Subramanyar, myself and my husband pradakshinamed the shrines making our our way to the navagraha, with the intent to stop briefly, as we always did, at the relief housing Dakshinamurthy. Even my husband didn’t know until that day I had this guru-sishya relationship with that idol-nor would he or any one for that matter would have ever imagined my millisecond outpouring to Dakshinamurthy’s reassurance of my capacity to find my feet was even possible.

That day we found the relief was empty.

My heart(the real one) was stunned, sending the clinical one to shudder. I didn't know I loved my Guru so much, I had to loose him before such realisation. I didn't know what to do, or whom to ask, a million thoughts of desperation flooded my being of the things that are mine, that were deliberately taken away from me(because, you can't derive solution design patterns from inadvertent events which are by definition, inadvertent and not by deliberate design). Finding my voice and vision to spot one of the priests, I asked what happened to Dakshinamoorthy. He answered that as part of the work leading upto the Kumbabishegam, they have removed the idol to change the base with granite as they are with the navagraham. Finding my feet to get to my husband who was half way through the pradakshinam of the navagraham, trying to channel whatever my stunned heart rejected, processing it through what changing the base meant and how it would look. Last Saturday while at the temple, we had saw the beautiful granite bases for Dakshinamoorthy and the navagraham, the Dakshinamoorthy, so it seemed to me, has descended from the walls to the ground. I couldn't, ofcourse help teasing him, it was a bad choice, because, previously I looked up to him for inspiration, and now when I see him in his new position, I stand a whole head above him !!!

At the fag end of my career after decades of working hard to establish/deliver solutions with in the scope of the very many roles I fulfilled to eliminate risk of human harm to the best of my ability, its difficult to sit back and watch mediocracy reign supreme in the name of innovation or efficiency; in other words, for some one with my training to look at the root cause of adversity to enable systemic benefit to all users, my need for reassurance from my guru through an indulgent smile every time I sought respite is as real today as it had been before he descended to the ground. I could try doing a namaskaram but I’ll come in the way of others using the praharam….

The mini-margam guru is based on my experience described above.

POETRY

alarippu (எதிர்பார்ப்பு)

ததீம் ததீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம்

ததீம் ததீம் தத்தீம் |

தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம் |

தத்தீம் தத்தீம் தத்தீம்

meaning in English:

ததீம் - the rhythmic syllable, தத்தீம் broken up as தத் + தீம் தத், in sanskrit meaning "that", and தீம் in english meaning "theame" - for the purposes of abinayam, தத்தீம் to express the msg "that is the theame". GURU being the margam, the alarrippu is teasing the audiance to find the meaning/purpose by drawing on their own understanding and seamless integration of multiple perspectives, manifest in multiple languages, each deriving from its own unique and distinct culture in to a coherent experience. The dancer can tease the audience by drawing them into expressing the meaning that is the theame at any prayogam of தத்தீம், and rendering just a rythmic expression of தத்தீம் - not unlike, how Dakshinamoorthy, or any personal deity from any religion for that matter, draws you in and flips you , for you to realise, you have to pay more attention, work hard to learn to pick up the cues of the gestures, learn the artistes bani, to align yourself in unison with with every prayogam of தத்தீம் for complete enjoyment.

jathiswaram (எதிர்பார்ப்பு)

refer to the music score section for skeleton tunes that should be sing in the appropriate swarams.

meaning in English:

no sathithyam/lyrics given this mini margam is written to portray a one act experience with ample room in the other elements to communicate.

shabtham (சோர்வு)

ஓயாது கணை தொடுத்து களைத்தேன் ஐயா

ஓயாது கணை தொடுத்து களைத்தேன் ஐயா எந்தன்

வாயார கணை தொடுப்போர் எங்குள்ளரோ

தாயாய் கணை தொடுத்து துவண்ட தோட்களை

சேயாய் எண்ணி துவள்வோர் எங்குள்ளரோ

meaning in English:

my Iyane, I am so tired after responding to the incessant attacks with lines from my poetry as my arrows to defend my intent! Are there anyone anywhere who can pick up their lot to defend my intent to give my mouth the well earned/much needed respite? I picked up my lot to defend what’s left as good amongst us humans as a mother would spontaneously dropping everything to protect her children. Is there anyone whose shoulders would stoop on seeing whats done unto me as they would upon seeing their children hurt?

varnam (நம்பிக்கை)

ஆனை முகத்தானே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர் தளிர்

ஓலை நுதலோனே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர்

வீணை மொழியணங்கே எம்மை காத்திடுவீர் தேவ

சேனையின் பதியே வள்ளியுடன் காத்திடுவீர்

வள்ளியுடன் காத்திடுவீர்

meaning in English:

(invocation to the main deities in the shiva shrine of the sri venkateswara temple, seeking respite for us humans) Ganesa, the first amongst the wise with the brain the size of that of an elephant and size of breath its trunk could hold to fill your lungs to power you, protect us humans as we seek respite in you. Chandra mouleeswra, the freshest and foremost amongst the intelligent/wise with your forehead spanning the cosmos like the thinnest blade of a fresh shoot of a coconut leaf, with ample potential to cut newer the frontiers, protect us humans as we seek respite in you. Thripurasundari, the most beautiful amongst those with a voice that brings all the cognitive inputs into a coherent whole- every fret in tune with every other note with no room for discord or untruth like the play of well composed songs on a well built, well tuned veenai, protect us humans, as we seek respite in you. Subramanya, the very spark that lit our lives and that of all others, protect us, with Devasenai, the embodiment of all that is devine by way of protecting us and Valli, the embodiment of the simplest expression of love and femininity, protect us humans as we seek respite in you.

padam (தவிப்பு)

எங்கும் உன்னை கண்டிலனே என் ஐயனே

எங்கும் உன்னை கண்டிலேனே

யாருனை பெயர்த்தனரோ சொல்வீர்

யாரிடம் கேட்டிடுவேன் என் ஐயனே

யாரிடம் கேட்டிடுவேன்

meaning in English:

I can not find you, my Iyane!, in spite of my arduous pursuit! who debased you?? Please tell me , who debased you?? I don’t even know whom to start asking to begin my search for you!! Oh! Whom can I ak???

thillana (சந்தோஷம்)

தேடி இன்று துவண்ட நெஞ்சம் உன்னை

தேடி இன்று துவண்ட நெஞ்சம் இனி

கோடி இன்பம் கொண்டுவக்கும் என் ஐயனே

meaning in English:

My heart, that was rendered limp after my arduous pursuit to find you back upon loosing you, is rejoicing in a hundred million ways having found you now.

mangalam (மந்தஹாசம்)

எப்போதும் உன்னடியின்கீழ் நின்றேன் ஐயனே என்னை

எடுத்து நிறுத்தியதுன் புன்முறுவலே

இப்போதென் கண்ணடியில் நின்றீர் ஐயனே நான்

இடுக்கண் வரின் இனி என் செய்திடுவேன்

meaning in English:

I always stood at your feet looking up at your smile that assured me of your confidence in me which in turn enabled me to find me feet-everytime. Now that you have been reconsecrated on the ground, below my eye-level whose feet can I stand below and look-up to to pull me out of grief? (a playful chiding, knowing in my heart he came down to protect me)

Music score: Notes for musicians on intent of the poetry

The poetry is written to the tune of a ragamalikai adumayile nitham adumayile- my apologies, as I do not know who the composer is. My aunt used to sing it to us in early sixties- her teacher’s name was Sri Mahadevaiyer and likely she learnt it from him.

Below is a recording where I have attempted to sing adu mayile to give people who are muscians/trained in music formally a skeleton of its tune for them to pick up and render- in my sixty five years of life I haven’t heard anyone other than my aunt/uncle sing it.

I have also attempted to sing my poetry in the tune, more to provide perspective on how I conceived the tune more than anything else.

Enjoy! The track is non downloadable- do write to me if you need a copy.

affectionately,

SumathyRamesh

ஆடுமயிலே என்ற பாடலின் மெட்டில் மேற்கண்ட கவிதைகளை எழுதியுள்ளேன். எனக்கு முறையாக பாட தெரியாது. ஆனால் முறைப்படி சங்கீதம் பயின்று பண்பட்டவர்களால் என் எண்ணத்தை புரிந்து கொண்டு பாட உதவும் வகையில் ஒரு ஸ்கெலிடனாக பாடி பதிவு செய்ததை உங்களுடன் பகிர்ந்து கொள்கிறேன்.

அன்புடன்,

சுமதிரமேஷ்

Choreography: Notes for choreographers on intent of the poetry

I have always thought of the padam as the center piece conveying the core message of the recital. The core message in these collection of poems being nothing like the loss of a loved one that shows your depth of your love for them- even if the loss/perception of loss didn’t last longer than a few minutes. its like, you have to be stunned out of your wits to realise how hopelessly you are reliant on their well being/existence.

Given the core message is personal I envisage this as a solo piece- the dancer through appropriate movements express awareness of many other devotees and the priests as he/she exchanges pleasantries until the padam to come to a halt where every one else in her space vanish at the drop of a hat-so to speak with her whole system shutting down with that one thought - where is my guru.. and fear/anger -who debased him and helplessness- whom can I even ask, given the many with whom she exchanged pleasantries have suddenly become non-existent or useless in helping her find out what happened to her guru…

It was also my intent that it would be a seamless single piece that will showcase the core elements of a margam distinctively, yet unobtrusively- like your audience would want to see your performance several times, each time finding an aspect they missed the previous time because the pace of the piece wouldn’t let them pause to reflect on a movement they saw or the glance they didn’t follow because the steps carried them to another part of the stage. Like fifteen minutes is a solid stretch for a person to hold their focus without getting sagged off; feeding that would mean they’d want more of it to make them want to see it again.

Enjoy!

affectionately,

SumathyRamesh

நடனம் எண்ணக்குறிப்பு

இப்பாடல் தொகுப்பின் மைய கருத்து, இழப்பை விட ஒருவர் பால் நாம் வைத்துள்ள அன்பின் பரிமாணத்தை வெளிப்படுத்தும் வழி பிறிதில்லை என்பது. அதனால் என் மனதில் இப்பாடல்களை ஒரு தனியான நடன நிபுணர் நடமிடுவதாக எண்ணி சமைந்தேன். மற்றும் பல அங்கங்கள் இருந்தும், அவை அனைத்தும் ஒரே சீராக இணைந்து ஒரே பாடலாக 15 நிமிடங்களுக்கு மேற்படாமல் அமைந்தால், ரசிகர்களின் முழு கவனத்தையும் அவரை மீண்டும் பார்த்து ரசிக்க தூண்டும் வகையில் அமையும் என்பது என் எளிய ஆசை.

அன்புடன் சுமதிரமேஷ்

Film: notes for producers/directors on the intent of the poetry finding manifestations through films

PRELUDE/INTRO to potential question why film??:

To me film is very powerful medium, when used well. I have watched movies all my life- mind you I changed my initials before I turned eight to K R fro just R inspired by the length of K R Vijaya’s hair on my slate-pencil case, ascribing my own interpretations to the letters that preceded my name stripping all efforts by the administrators to establish association between the document trail of my school records and myself as the person whose life as a student accomplishing those grades and not insignificant praise from my teachers and headmistress; it worked only because, even for my headmistress who approved the intial change, the risk of falsification of records or inappropriate claims of another person’s accomplishments, or misrepresentation becasue of a change of initial simply did not exist - other wise, how can I explain a school administration required and issued transfer certificates based on student’s name and fathers name and DOB, didn’t need anything other than an eight year old walking up and asking he initials be changed. My brother- two years younger than myself achieved his change of initals with in days, but then, my family was trailblazing on total elimination of age-discrimination at very many levels at that time so this was too trivial an accomplishment for him at six.

I digress.. all I wanted to say was films have been an integral part of my life since as far back as I can remember. I toyed with making a film in memory of my uncle, one of the ப்ரோபரைட்டர் (sorry I couldn’t resolve the spelling) of ChandraPrabha pictures, a very successful film distributors in early-mid sixties from Coimbatore and started documenting the kind of movie it would be by way of reviewing my ten-out-of-tens in iMdb. [ref: iMdb user: sumathyramesh-92949] Realising I don’t have that kind of money nor skills to make the kind of movie I want to make and chose to weave my screen dreams on my web pages in these sections.

GURU

One or more film to explore in about 75 minutes the ideas of developing consistent personal techniques to pick oneself up by projecting one’s own resilience on to another tangible, unobtrusive, person who would allow room for quick pause for self-reflection in your natural surrounds.

The technique is necessarily personal, given no two humans on the planet think or experience loss or love or recovery the same way, let alone equivalent personal experiences directly transferable to others or species just because w may use the same set of words to say so. Here is a very trivial example you can try it yourself if you like: I love my coffee. I enjoy my first coffee leagues more than my second, because the tissues make up my mouth produce the saliva just that much differently the second time. Such being the case, its IMPOSSIBLE to technically baseline my experience of enjoyment of my coffee to define a taste profile even back on to myself, let alone any one else. That’s why my life is defined by my experiences and can not be shoe-horned into some behavioral predictive theory or algorithm. Hence the need for every human to recognise themselves and be quietly proud of who they are even if your most cherished experience comes across as totally wierd or whacky(sp?) to any one else. Its not easy.

But then, its not difficult if you find your guru. The right guru. I think you’d know its the right guru, when your momentary sense of loss of that connection with your and the joy of finding it back to show the importance of a need for such a person in your life; its certainly not your girl friend or boy friend; its not a mentor who tells you what to do- nor an analyst who’ll pick your brain to pieces through questioning but some one who’ll not stunt your ability for self reflection denying that smile until your reflections lead you to find the smile from with in yourself… like a pet that can reflect your mindframe and lend a leg when you are down, like a deity or a cobbler for that matter, on the untrodden side walk, that young barista (not bar-tender ‘cos you want to be able to think :)) who in five seconds would show you you were missed even when your colleagues in your next desk barely notice your week long absence, given your work place had slipped into talking to each other through emails/MS teams group chats even when you are within ear shot, not your family or friends or teachers or the like because their relationships by definition, are based on bi-lateral communication exchanging experiences and imparting wisdom - given the focus here is to find that touch to remind you of your own inner strength and give it some oxygen so that it has a chance to tone up.

Symposium: notes for regulatory professionals(a few roles left on this planet where system-thinking is still fashionable)

As a regulatory die-hard, I have always relied on applicable regulations in professional space as my guru, guiding my refelections and thoughts to navigate complex situations that stretch the seams of established policies/procedures/work instructions as implemented with in the organisations I have worked in, particularly in situations where there is no direct precedence/prior one-to-one organisational experiences. I have also found it rewarding even in situations where the organisations have chosen to engage outsourcing partners or consultants to get over the hump, if for no other reason, but to monitor and impart insights for fostering organisational learning. Almost all well written regulations have enabled determination of the scope of a given clause or an augmenting instrument, not unlike a guru seeking to inspire solutions within the framework of the lines his embodiment personifies. In other words, the regulations themselves are not the solution, however, repeatable outcomes are impossible to achieve in the absence of regulations because, the entity seeking approaches to navigate unchartered situations need to know their safe limits - which, in my experience is no different to that of their customers/users/other users in the environment of use preventing inadvertent misuse and containing the potential for claims of inadvertant misuse, while the intention is potentially otherwise either directly or indirectly.

symposiums could explore accountability lines and alternative frameworks for specific situations with the potential to violating human safety with the intent to deliver specific special controls for specific medical devices implemented as an integral part of Title 21 CFR regulating medical devices by the FDA, USA.

Summmits: notes for technical leaders on potential consideration as they feed on the digital rush by, its counter-intuitive but completely true- feeding the digital rush.

to write tomorrow…

WORKSHOPS: notes for humans engaged in …I have to think about after completing sections on Symposiums and Summits

to write tomorrow???