Leading Yourself

-on leadership as self-respect, powering respect for fellow humans

My book Evolving Sapiens is coming to fruition, with a target date set for 1 MAY 2022, my fathers birthday, for publication. I love him. I didn’t know how much when I was growing up in Palani learning my world from all things that was enabled for by him not just since my birth, but his own. [ref: TBD possible approaches to genetics derived from my understanding of Physics conceptualised in my booklet Omniverse, set to be expanded into a chapter in the book] I didn’t know it when I spread my wings on my own at sixteen for tertiary education in Coimbatore nor when I scrawled the restaurants and cinemas in Bangalore learning to balance work and fun until I learnt to find fun in work and work in fun.(to teh amusement of my daughter and son,s I have take-homes watching Simsons, some profound ones at that, but I digress) I didn’t know it when he gave me away in marriage, mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts and cousins and a thousand friends/friends of friends adorning me in silks and gold and to MLV, Kanyakumari and Eswaran winding down the two day jubilance spending probably some 10 years of his savings. I didn’ know it when he swelled with pride at the very name of my husband and my children. I din’t even know it when he deteriorated over a six years loosing a toe, then leg, then eysight, then the will to live with nothing but my mother’s will for him, fragile as she was, to live keeping him alive. I didn’t even know it when I was informed of his move to the hospital to be put on ventilator to prolong his life by a few days as my mother sturggeld to come to grip with his loss. I didn’t know it when I saw the empty room that had become his everything for his last two years or so. But I did, when I realised, upon my return from our travels to Prayag a couple of years ago. I can’t find a better day to culminate my life’s work in a publication to etch his memories in the world in a way it will pass the scratch-test for atleast a hundres years in every walk of life.

Leading Yourself is another chapter in the book. to me personal leadership is to understand and perfect self-respect and to learn to use it to power respect fo fellow humans, every time, towards every human.

I am going to explore it through three poems:

1. Conclusion/decision: my personal deity lifting me up, not unlike my father, reminding me that I haven’t lost anything, that the world is mine if I want to conquer it ( முயலாமை enbathini illamar pom)

2. Analysis- problem: me lamenting to my personal deity, calling him out as shunning his promises to me as my faculties fail (உயிர் வழி mei enra mei thanai kanen)

3. Analysis- resolusion: myself, having lead myself out of all that tried to knock me down, declaring a world order shattering all excuses for inaction forging a Renaissance for all mankind (அன்பில் திளைத்த பின்னும் ஐயம் ஏனடி)

முயலாமை - giving-up

My brother in law is one of the wisest humans I have come across, believ me I have come across many in my 60 years of life in this planet either directly or indirectly through their writings.

He asked me to compose a poem on முயலாமை (mulayamai, meaning not trying, or giving up). The message he wanted me to embed in it was that people project their failures incorrectly on to their inabilities, which in itself is a manifestation of their envy at the accomplishments of those who succeed under similar circumstances and inability to relish in their success, leading to deceiving themselves and other around them. He gave me an example from the life of a law-clerk in Tamil Nadu, who under adverse circumstances by his sheer perseverance, focus and making the most of his innane intelligence climbed the ranks of the profession and became one of the well respected judiciary. And there were many who couldn’t find it in themselves to acknowledge, let alone rejoice in his accomplishments, wallowed in misattribution of his success to advantages stemming from disadvantaging others on racial bias.

I take liberties with my brother in law, and expanded the brief by delving a step deeper in to the root cause of why such manifestations come about and what can we do about it now by committing to correcting with the understanding of what resulted in முயலாமை.

Below is my poem -

முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

பொய்யாமை உருக்குலைந்து தலை எடுத்த
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

களவாமை அழிந்தமையால் முளைத்திட்ட
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

அறியாமை வேரூன்ற விழுதுவிட்ட
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

நிலையாமை இடர் விளைத்து தடம் புரட்ட
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

இயலாமை உயிர்கொண்டு உடல் வீழ்ந்த
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்
முயலாமை என்பதினி இல்லாமற் போம்

Let the attitude of giving up be no more;

the attitude of giving up that came about because of the distortion of the value of not lying,

the attitude of giving up that came about because of the destruction of the value of calling others assets( intellectual or otherwise) as their own,

the attitude of giving up that came about because of misunderstanding or inadequate understanding taking roots and spreading,

the attitude of giving up that came about because of instability( arising from ill-formed values) hindering stability of thought flipping the pursuit of what their heart desires,

the attitude of giving up that came about because of inability that is ingrained in their soul rendering their limbs and factuties week,

Let that attitude of giving up be no more!